Was starting this blog worth the risk?
Hello readers and risk takers!
I have been so busy these past few days with so many positive things
in which includes getting ready for a brand new year full of brand new beginnings by taking a new risk!
A new year can truly be exciting for those who want it to be!
For one, this blog has been one of the best things I have discovered about myself.
Once I started I knew that this was what I needed to do for myself, and it’s been so hard for me to stop writing! I have so much I want to say and it can’t come quickly enough.
Has anyone else had a similar experience when first starting their blog?
I am so happy with the healing this risk has brought me to just share so many of my thoughts and to have so much support I never thought I would have from all of you.
So thank you guys so much everything from my readers to my new followers, to the emails, messages and the comments on my posts. It means the world to me.
Today we are finally taking down our Christmas decorations and I laughed so hard as I began to remove items from the tree because
I just now realized that my tree has looked like an absolute joke these past few weeks, completely unnoticed!
Having small children and expecting to have a perfect tree is so unrealistic, guys!
Sad, but true! I don’t care how perfect you try and make it!
It’s always gonna be messed up and not what you planned!
(unless of course you run a training camp style home, and everyone listens because, well they do). –haha-sooo unrealistic, right?!
It really got me to thinking about all of the other expectations i hold to myself and the way I have let the perceptions and the small glimpse that I see of other people’s lives that seem to be perfect, control me.
And that really got me thinking about the way that other people may view me from being an outsider, and even those on the inside.. and how messed up or far off their assumptions must be.
We all do this to each other.
I can’t be the only one.
Have you ever had a relationship in your life that was so damaging, but yet no one was there to save you or to even be around enough to realize what was going on?
I have too.
I have come to the point where It doesn’t matter to me who believes me or not because I know the truth and that’s good enough for me.
It has to be.
I have always been so close to my mother.
I have and will always do everything I can to protect her, but there’s even things that I have never shared with her.
It was always too much of a risk.
In which has allowed so many people to not even have the chance to know that I was even in denial and holding so many things in for myself to deal with alone.
For too long, and about so many things that I feel should have been different in my life but, I don’t want to dance around in denial anymore.
I am growing a lot, and it feels so good.
The people that are meant to be in my life will be here and
I’m not going to worry about who likes me or not because not everyone is going to like me.
I’m learning to be OK with that.
For some reason you just can’t be everyone’s cup of tea! Just make sure to separate the bad ones from the good and to surround yourself with the ones that are good for you.
The ones that make you want more for yourself and keep you positive.
No naysayers.. we want yes-sayers!
The world would be a crazy un-fun place to be if we were all the same!
We are all different and unique and I think that’s what I love so much about developing new relationships.
I have always felt so sheltered with my view on people because of the tiny hometown I grew up in.
I have always been one that loves to talk, I crave deep conversation and relation with others on any level.
For some reason it truly fascinates me to hear of other people’s different walks of life and what they have done to keep moving forward.
I crave inspiration.
Don’t be like me, don’t not take risks, and be afraid of rejection.
And if you already are like me, keep reading.. we are on the same journey! You never know the answer to something until you ask or seek for yourself.
Sometimes you have to jump out into the unknown and be willing to be uncomfortable before you will notice real change in the risk.
Being in denial for as long as I have has damaged me in a way that has accumulated this huge fear of rejection.
Maybe your like me and there are things from your past or something about you that no one else knows,
and it’s something that haunts you.
Is your mind a home that your trapped in all alone too? I was there and in fact I am still there.
That home is my home.
Walls built up all over this mansion.
with huge rooms so full of overwhelming memories that I have just decided to keep the doors shut for far too long.
Opening those doors will spill out so much truth that will be hard to face,
but I can guarantee what I have learned so far is that this denial, has presented itself of a different person, of a different life.
Someone who I’m not and some life that I don’t have.
Constantly chasing perfection is futile to failure.
This blog and writing about who I am as a true person was a huge risk
it has allowed me to find the right ones that are meant to be in my life, without judgement.
That’s what I want in my life.
I had already come in so many areas, including learning how to accept myself.
Sometimes God puts an end to things we don’t understand at the time.
Sometimes that risk can really mess you up and set you off track and turn you off.
Was it a relationship with a family member, a good job you could have swore you would advance in?
but you lost it anyway.
or maybe your like me and you realized the life you are living isn’t giving you any sort of hope for yourself or your future.
It’s time to make a change. Take a risk.
Negativity breeds negativity, always.
You have to keep a steady pace of positivity flowing in your life, so you don’t get worn out in the run that we all race.
You won’t always be running on the same trail as everyone else and it might get rocky at times and that’s ok, as long as your finish line remains the same.
Here are some things that I continue to tell myself that I hope you can find helpful.
- You will never truly get a yes If you never ask.
- Don’t put a question mark where god put a period.
- Say yes and you will figure it out later.
- Don’t keep dwelling on something that you can’t change, always thinking about it, wondering why it didn’t work out, why did the door close.
- If you’ll move forward, you’re going to come into a new season of joy and fulfillment like you’ve never seen. Embrace it!
- We all suffer every day. Allow yourself those days.
- Don’t be harsh to yourself. Grieving is not the same for anyone.
- Allow yourself to hurt
- When a thought crosses your mind that brings you down, ask yourself “who cares?”. For real!
–Most of the time when you ask yourself that, you will find that it’s truly only you who cares,
and your only battling yourself.
This can be a harsh thing for some people to realize themselves.. I was there too.. but you have to learn to let it go. You have to take care of your own happiness. Not everyone else’s.
That first step doesn’t have to be a big one. It simply has to move you forward
Keep your focus. We are all a survivor of something.
We got this!
Thank you for reading and for your continued support in my thoughts and in my voice I have created for myself on this amazing platform.
Please comment ( I love feedback), follow, and share if you feel inclined too!
I love this post. So many point that I need to focus more on, too. Like saying Yes and worrying about the specifics later as not dwelling on things I can’t change.
Mama In Grace
It’s definitely easier said then done. I’m here for you girl, in any way I can be❤️