The Process of Self Growth

Becoming who you are meant to be is a process that isn’t necessarily easy.

 

The true definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, right?

 

What has made us all go insane?

 

Anyone else notice the turmoil happening in the world? I never really put too much thought into it.

But lately I have really been focusing on being the person in which I am happiest being.

It really has made me a happier person.

Without even putting too much thought into it, I came to a few points myself.

People tend to talk badly about the ones that they associate with, and sadly pretty regularly. Sometimes (i believe a lot of the time) its because others are worried about their image. Financials being a huge playing factor.

Everything in this world is controlled by money, and to you super religious people— hold the phone, there is really no argument here, I just can’t.

The true meaning of family has been washed away and families have been broken apart by expectations, lies, cheaters, and mothers who aren’t even properly caring for their babies anymore. Males and females are confused about who they are anymore, and the least of our worries are other people.

How else is it that so much heartbreak goes on? Why do we keep expecting a change when we aren’t willing to make the change ourselves?

Our hearts people, where have they gone?

Where is the real happiness in the world and how can I achieve it?

It makes me really wonder and I ask myself, “is this what God really wanted for us?, is this the person that God wants me to be?”, to judge people we don’t know and even our very own family and friends constantly!!

We shame people away from us because they’re not how we are, and they don’t like how we do or they don’t do the things that we do.. it’s disgusting. Who are we?

I know we are all guilty of this.

It really is up to us to make the choice to do better and remove ourselves from those people and things along with the attachments that go along with them.

Its a process making that choice though, it can’t just be like a one-sided relationship.. if the people whom you are pouring your feelings and emotions into aren’t reciprocating the positivity.

I am so sorry to say but they gotta go.

Being a parent is tough, being a best friend is tough, being fricken alive is tough, but the toughness that we breakthrough is what makes it worth it. It’s like our trophy in the end. Once I realized the weight of gold that trophy holds is right when I started to decide to let it define my life in a positive way.

Because the truth is that you really do get stronger in the process

and not only are you stronger but you’re able to overcome so much more by where your perspective lies afterward.

I hear people talking and saying all the time how miserable they are but the one common denominator is that these same people are not willing to make the change!

Truthfully , We all would like to complain and to say how much we “hate” our lives when things aren’t going right or the way we want them to and we all have so many things we could blame that on. Right??

Wouldn’t that be so much easier to just complain and blame?? Im sure we all have our own reasons and very good ones at that.

I don’t know about you and I know I’m not alone on this..but I tend to be one of my very own worst critics. (Something I am working daily on).

I judge myself probably more than anybody else judges me and everyday along with many other things i let get to me, I just hide it very well.

Let me tell you, it’s been HARD reversing that mindset especially when its been since you were a little kid.

But let me tell you, it’s one of the most rewarding feelings in the world to wake up and look at yourself in the mirror and finally feeling comfortable with who you are.

Its hard for me to be around people that think they are so much better than everyone including the homeless person on the side of the road.

Who’s to say that he wasn’t at one time a retired war veteran who has no family and no place to go and our government has failed him, but yet everybody driving by him has judged him. Whether they helped him or not, he’s been judged. Maybe he doesn’t even want that attention on himself so he refuses to share what he’s even done for our country, but what most of us will do is choose to judge him anyway.

By the way off topic ( but that’s who I am so bare with me), but the most respectable people I have ever met have been super quiet about their accomplishments throughout their life, and they seem to be the most humble.

Growing up with and around those that talk badly about literally everyone all the time makes you start to think that the daily talk about “keeping up with the entire neighborhood” and giving all of our opinions on what we think is right— is somewhat normal in every household.

I will admit, I went through those times in my life where I did the same thing… and In the end I honestly never felt good about myself.

It’s hard to know who to trust at that point, it’s hard to not automatically assume that others talk poorly of you all the time when your not around.

It’s a burden I carry with me daily. The voices in my head that have told me my whole life that “ they just pretend to like me to be nice to me, but really they think _____ of me.”

This isn’t normal, it’s not healthy, it is toxic, and you don’t have to be around it. Choose to be better than that if that’s what makes you happy.

I have had to shut those voices up and the most effective way in doing that has been to remove myself from the relationships where these voices started. These voices have stemmed from my abusive step father when I was a young girl, so I feel like my brain holds onto them so much tighter.

It took a long time to learn that there’s no loyalty, no honesty, no trust, and there’s no good solid relationship that can be formed off of that kind of behavior. Its important that i just be me, and I need to stay true to myself and it’s important for me to not let others opinions get in the way.

It’s taken time, but i am learning to be comfortable with who I am and I have become comfortable with removing people who are in my way of my families success.

I’m the type of person now who if I have a problem with you I want to talk about it with you, and I want to open that communication.

Yes, it’s frightening and it can be hard; and honestly I don’t like it either

but that’s what needs to be done for an effective relationship to work! You can’t hide your feelings and go tell somebody else, and expect something to be done about it.

Self growth

Choose new people to be around.

Or maybe go somewhere where you know you can surround your self with like minded people. I had to do the same thing and I have distanced myself from a ton of people. Its not always easy, but now I am seeing the benefits it.

Its nice because i almost feel like a new person. Ultimately the people that I choose to be around affects my entire family.

It was nothing short of a tough decision deciding if being friends with those people was worth it or not.

Wondering whether or not I’m doing something wrong in the decisions I made. For too long I was so afraid of the judgement from others : mostly loved ones.

The point of realization has hit me now. Now, I see that a lot of people don’t really care as much as they say do.

I write this mostly because of this.

It’s a hard realization to come to and a lot of people don’t want to accept it. But the truth hurts and sometimes knowing the truth is what is going to prepare you for what’s next.

We need to learn to be OK with these facts. I was never OK with it before. But, it would tear me down leaving me wondering what I could do to change it.

 

These things tend to change you and make you appreciate people so much more.

At times it just seems like it’s never enough. Now more than ever I notice that I don’t have time to prove myself to anybody anymore.

And i sure as heck dont have the energy to waste doing it. I really can’t deplete myself completely which is the road I was heading down.

 

I can’t find it in my heart to believe that this is what Jesus wanted for me.

 

I’m not perfect and I don’t pretend to be.

I make a ton of mistakes all the time like we all do. But i can’t continue to do this and hurting myself in the process.

Like many others, i want to focus my time and energy into the people who want what’s best for me.

I need to better myself and my life and I don’t care anymore if that makes me selfish or not. 

But I want my family and I to succeed in all that we can.

You either accept me and love me or you don’t.

Those questionable relationships anymore in my life are something i don’t want anymore, so I refuse to be that person. I’m here and I’m ready to respect and care for you if you can do the same for me.

My advice would be to choose the people to be around wisely. And for the sake of you, create a new “normal” for yourself and just be happy..

that’s when you’re going to find the most peace. Let it go and just be you..

Self love

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