The Stigma Against Medical Marijuana: Part One

Trauma, Anxiety, and Silence. These things are all a part of my past and who i am.

The stigma against medical marijuana and mental health is saddening. There is something to be said about the silence we have created for ourselves in today’s society regarding them both.

We are letting other peoples comfort take residence in our own life and we have forgotten what it’s even like to take care of our very own needs.

If there was an award for people pleasing I most definitely would have one for every year.

Working on myself is some of the best work I have ever done. That might sound selfish to some.. but others may feel my drift.

Starting this blog has opened my heart up so much more than I ever thought possible. My eyes see things clearer and my soul finally feels at peace.

Treating my anxiety without medication has been such a challenge. If you were to ask me what I thought about anxiety medication a few years ago I would have told you I needed it, daily.

Anxiety and panic attacks definitely had their hold on me.

Amidst all of the mental trauma I had from my past: Explaining how I felt was like speaking to a room of deaf ears. No one would listen.

Because I had anxiety it was like everything else I had to say was obsolete.

There were multiple days in a row I couldn’t leave the bathroom. and my husband couldn’t work because we had noone to take care of our kids.

I began to feel hopeless, but regardless of the stigma, medical marijuana gave me hope.

The only options I had ever been given were medications (which always made other things worse for me), mental health therapy, surgery to “see” if it would help the vomiting, and per my families request-mental health REHAB.. (to think that they considered this baffles me).

Nothing ever helped me and I’m the type of person that feels when you know something is wrong with yourself you just know.

I was left with no other option but to take care of it all by myself.

Because no matter what they say, you always have a choice. You just don’t always have the guts to make it. -Ray N. Kuili Click To Tweet

 

Consequently, there I was fervently searching for answers.

Natural therapists, acupuncturists, natural mental therapy practices, yoga, you name it. I went for it.

I no longer wanted to feel as crazy or as bad as a person and mother as they made me think I was.

I’m not one to complain about my issues unless I’m talking with someone else, you know like women do. But even then, I hold back on a lot of personal issues.

Being a stay at home mom these last almost 7 years and being married, I have lost touch with a lot of people I use to talk to on a regular basis, so even they had no clue what I had been going through.

And I would never really like to share too much on social media either.. because I didn’t want to be “that” person.

Fighting for my health against the stigma and utilizing medical marijuana was the best thing I’ve ever done.

We made it to the Mayo Clinic after years of suffering, and I was finally given an answer and validation for years of pain .

For the first time, I feel free from the emotional burdens that my doctors had put on me; and i am damn proud of myself.

It took years of self reassurance and self love to get me to this place. It’s hard to love the pieces of you that you hated before.

It takes work. A lot of it. But, the work and risk is always worth the reward.

Everyday is a new start and new challenges always arise. Sometimes there are bad days and some days are good, but it’s the progression we make that truly counts.

In the end, the results of who you are will always speak volumes over anything else anyone has to say or even think.

Facing heartache like that when your in search of wellness for yourself is a pain I cannot explain

Medical Marijuana has changed my life for the better.

Yes, I still have pain every day. No it doesn’t take it all away. But, i do have other coping skills for anxiety and it does make the pain, anxiety, and many more things manageable.

For some reason though, so many of you will hate me now that you know this. Those of you who do, have no clue what my story has been and that’s where judgement meets ignorance.

You can’t hate something so much that you don’t even understand.

I finally found relief in something that isn’t going to kill me or take my life away! It’s important to have a community that supports those decisions.

Living through all that I have has really been teaching me to not ever judge anyone based on the choices they make for themselves.

It’s not anyone’s job to set the tone for your life- besides YOU.

In that, my heart and passions have dove pretty deep into mental health awareness and natural therapies.

I think it’s really important that we start putting light on the stigma against mental health; no matter how you choose to medicate.

I know so many people- too many; whose lives would change for the better because of the benefits that natural approaches have to offer.

This is an important topic that we start talking more about. There are so many stories and lives that have been changed because of it, including my own.

To be honest, if you were to ask my husband he would probably say that I would without it i would have died awhile ago.

To explain, when our middle child was a baby I was so sick from the pain and the crippling anxiety that went along with it and I literally couldn’t eat a thing.

I had lost over 30 pounds and you could see most of my bones with no clothes on.

To say i am thankful for Medical Marijuana would be an understatement. It has helped me be able to eat, sleep, and enjoy life a bit more.

Regardless of how others feel, i am able to be myself so much better.

Too much energy gets wasted on trying to make other people like me who certainly never will. Energy I could have put into myself.

Caring about how others feel and caring about what they think of you are two different things.

One thing we are all daily running from is judgement and what others think. I say it all the time, but what are we doing?

What will it take to start living for ourselves?

We’re all doing life our own way.

Your story is important, it matters, and telling it can not only help you but it can help others too!

Check out Part Two here.