Life is a journey.
Getting started on the real reason why i started this blog..
Life sure is a journey isn’t it?
I would be lying if i said that the past 6 years of my life hasn’t been that great,
because the journey has really been great.
It has honestly been amazingly life changing in so many ways.
Not just because i became a mom, but i finally let go of what god was literally forcing onto me.
Anyone who knows Jordan and I personally knows that there were a few bumps in the road when we first met.
He literally saw the ugliest side of my soul, from the get go.
I took it all out on him because there were so many things hidden in me that i was afraid to show.
And all he did was love me even more and encourage me to be real.
Sure he was hurt by my actions and words, but this man truly didn’t budge in his love for me or his baby.
Meeting your soul mate when your a person like me with a past like mine can be a huge defining moment in your life like it has been for me.
I have been shown the realist love there is, greater than a mothers or a “fathers” love, and greater than any friendship let alone relationship i have ever had.
I am thankful every second for him and the 3 lives we have created together.
But, as we all know
life is never what we expect it to be.
We make plans for ourselves and next thing you know, it all goes a different direction.
We think we have it all figured out.
Little did i know, he had a lot more planned for me than i have even thought was possible.
For me as a kid and throughout most of my life affection has been really hard to come by. And real feelings and emotions were avoided.
& i have had major walls i’ve been trying to break down every day since then because of it.
Major walls. Like the type of walls that keep people completely out of your life.
And i have never really admitted that until now..
I am at a point in my life where i am ready to face my fears of simply exposing my true and authentic self
so that i can begin the experience of getting to know myself better.
Hopefully i will be able to reach out to others who may be not just like me,
but someone who can relate, because i know we can help each other.
I feel like i am strong enough to do this now and that i have finally reached that place in my life.
Starting this blog is something i have wanted to do for the past 6 months.
& eventually, I would like to write a book. However, i want to be so real with myself and everyone else that i would just rather start now.
Recently, i have overcome a lot of problems i have had with my health and in my life.
All while raising a family and dealing with the major curves and obstacles that life has thrown us in.
It has been a crazy journey so far, and it’s just getting started!
The plans i have for myself and my family are so much greater than anything i have imagined. But i feel like my vision for my future gets clearer everyday.
and i am really starting to see a breakthrough from so much trauma i have held onto from my past.
I need light it in my life now more than ever.
I’m hoping by sharing this blog with you all that i can better myself, my present, and my future.
In the process i hope i can give someone else even a little bit of hope in whatever they may be walking through.
Even though most of us like to make it look like we live perfect and happy lives, the truth is that we all feel pain.
Part of the reason why i think life can hurt so much is because most of the time we think we are alone.