Growing in Grace
Growing in grace isn’t always a straight path, or something you can plan out. Motherhood has easily been one of the hardest things for me in my life right now.
To be honest, i haven’t felt like the best mom during this pandemic.
Between managing my kids, their individual homework, keeping up with a very active 2 1/2 year old, keeping them all fed.
Helping our kids make sense of all the chaos when they are missing their friends. & keeping the house clean and running.. there are so many words i could use. But it hasn’t felt like much growth is happening here!
Any time i scroll through my social media feeds i have noticed a commonality between us moms. We’re not giving ourselves the grace we deserve. We are tired.
There is a lot of fear, anxiety, and negative energy out in the world right now. & when we aren’t mindful of it, we can easily become sucked into it.
It’s 10X harder when you are now living a life that is different from the life your family had before.
Finding a new normal isn’t an easy thing. Change isn’t an easy thing. However; trying to measure up to what everyone else is doing or what someone else thinks is right, is impossible.
I think during the hardest seasons of life, we struggle even more making sure we’re keeping up & trying harder.
In these moments, we forget about grace & how he already says that we are enough just as we are, right where we are, regardless if we are “growing” or not.
Although i like to encourage other people, it’s not always the easiest thing for me to take my own advice.
I found myself in a pillow full of tears last night because i was tired of myself. Tired of yelling mostly.
& tired of making my kids do schoolwork that they are really struggling to do.
Over trying to relax. Because every time i attempt to, i get pulled up right away over something silly. & it gets slightly more frustrating the more and more times the situation keeps repeating itself.
I’m sure all moms out there can agree with me right now that a moment alone in the bathroom sounds like a slice of heaven right now.
We’re also well aware that its not going to happen anytime soon.
So after crying my eyes out and going into my kids rooms to see them sleeping; i kissed them and apologized to them, and then cried some more.
I really want to be the best mom i can be for my kids. And it sucks that i struggle to feel like i am.
In those moments of hugging my kids in prayer i felt a presence overcome me, and it was a presence of comfort. I could feel something hugging me and letting me know that it’s alright.
I surrendered & made a vow to myself that i was going to truly enjoy these days with my kids. To make them feel comforted as i did in that moment.
To let them know that no matter what emotions they feel, that overall, it’s going to be alright.
In the past and even still today, i learn so much from my children when i apologize for being wrong.
We’re all doing the best that we can right now.
I feel like they don’t deserve to be yelled at just as much as i don’t deserve all the pressure i am feeling.
We cant change the chaos that is happening around us, but there is always a way that we can find some purpose in it.
The only thing i can change is myself and my mindset.
At the end of the day, that is what we are left to deal with when you erase everything else.
So how do we make those changes?
How do we begin growing in grace in the hardest moments?
- Accept where you are at emotionally, physically, and spiritually. We are all human and we all have feelings. Its very natural to feel however you feel; what’s most important is the actions you take once you feel them.
- Don’t deny why you feel the way you do. Use your feelings as a guide to direct you forward. Ultimately, strive for happiness.
- Find joy in the little things. Spend time doing something you enjoy or love everyday, even if its just 5,10, or 15 minutes.
- Be grateful and be thankful for what you have and what is to come.
- Show yourself grace and build yourself up. Make a list of everything you have accomplished recently. Bathed the kids? Showered yourself? Maybe you even did some yard work while the kids played outside? Cooked dinner & did dishes in one night? You are much more amazing than you give yourself credit for!
- Be there for yourself. Talk to yourself as you would a friend & learn to give yourself your best advice.
- Don’t judge yourself in a non-loving way. Always come from a place of love & grace.
- Encourage yourself to keep moving forward.
- Write a letter to yourself or a list of positive affirmations.
- Hold onto all the positive things you can.
- Learn to let go of hard things, but also to not forget the lesson in them.
- Forgive yourself & others.
- Encourage a friend, a stranger, and a loved one. Every day.
All of these things are just stepping stones to help us attain our ultimate goal which is to live fully & happy. Don’t overwhelm yourself trying to make too many changes at once.
Baby steps, my friend.
Don’t forget to give yourself the grace you deserve. The grace that Jesus died for you & I to have without cost.