God Doesn’t Belong In A Box
It’s the first official day of summer break for my children. I had these extravagant plans to paint my daughters nails and to bake goodies all day with them. Instead im finding myself at noon wanting to do nothing.
I mean, I have never really been a morning person so I wont be too hard on myself. My kids got to sleep in this morning and I haven’t had to rush to do anything, so writing some more of what’s on my heart just feels like a good idea.
It’s always an awesome feeling when you get to meet new people that you feel like just get you. I love making new friends and being extremely sociable when I feel like it. When I don’t, I love to stay home under some blankets and in my zone of comfort.
Today is one of those days.
I’m definitely a good mix of both extro and intro. Ever since I can remember I have felt really misunderstood and probably for this reason! Either this or its the empath side of me, who knows! Half the time I don’t even understand myself 🙂
I’m not a typical girl you’d find in your church.
I don’t listen to just one type of music, I honestly love a bit of everything. Diversity is something I love and find interest in. I cuss sometimes, actually a lot of times. I even yell at my kids some times.
Some days I find it really hard to be kind to people. And I love Jesus. Like, really really love him. And I’m trying every single day to be a better person than I was yesterday.
Growing up my Mom always believed in God but she didn’t know where she fit in. So on Sundays that we were free from her abusive ex husband we would go out to different churches and explore different religions.
As I got older and more comfortable with church itself I started to take myself to the church across the street from my school on Wednesdays. Plus I would just tag a long with a friend in the neighborhood to go to their church with them.
I never focused on the religion of the church itself but on the goodness I could feel in my soul when I was there.
During these times I would hear from God clear as day as I would pray at night alone in my bed. Hearing his voice and direction was everything I needed during those hard times. But he spoke to me, and the more I grow into who I am the more I celebrate that.
And I know I sound crazy saying that, but im OK with that now.
I don’t and have never by any means live even close to a perfect life. But I do know that God is real. And I know that he still loves me regardless of what I have walked through.
I can confidently say that he walks with me wherever I go because between childhood trauma and having cancer there is not a fire he hasn’t walked me completely through.
He accepts me no matter what music I listen to, what my routine is in the mornings or what day I choose to go to church. Or even who I am friends with.
In fact, I think bringing together people that are different is exactly what we are supposed to be doing.
So many of us have placed God in a box.
Based on the experiences we’ve walked through and how they shaped us according to society’s standards. We become influenced by our parents, by religions and the people we spend the most time with.
Once God is shoved in a box that most comfortably suits us and our life we don’t hear from him much or at all. We start to misunderstand who he is.
The walls we put up around him and our relationships become sounding boards from other peoples opinions. Then that becomes all we really hear and focus on.
At least that’s my own experience, I guess I cant really speak for anyone else.
There is a fullness that comes from allowing your relationship with God to be involved in every aspect of who you are and where you feel called to be. He placed something special inside each one of us that could change this world.
How do we find out what that special thing is though if we stay focused on what other people want and what religion says is “right?”
The desires that are in us are all a part of that something special that God has given us.
If you look at the different stories in the bible you see such diversity in every one of them, yet there was a plan, a journey for each one of them. Jesus saw every single broken person and didn’t love them any less.
When I feel like I have to hide certain parts of who I am in order to gain approval of others I know that I am losing sight of my own journey and purpose.
I am truly the happiest when I am able to be who I feel called to be, and that includes all of me–not just some parts of me.
We are allowed to be different, to find joy in different things and places, and its ok to love each other for thinking differently. The one thing that can keep us unified is love and without experiencing that pure love we will never be able to accept ourselves for who we are or anyone else for who they are.
God is love and I have never known him any different.
When no one else understands you, he does and he will. There is a plan he has for all the hard things you have walked through. Plans that produce hope and a future.
You don’t need a religion to get to him, a thought out plan, money, a church, or anything else other than an open heart to receive the gifts he has for you.
If a lotus flower can grow through muck and mud, so can you. If diamonds are made under pressure, than you can too. Your story matters and you’re loved regardless of anything else.
God loves you and he sees you trying so hard to have a place in the world around you. You are exactly where you need to be whether your plans have worked out or not.
Stay focused on where you want to go even if others misunderstand you.. and I promise he’s going to get you to the place you are trying to go. God does life best with us when we take him out of that box!
Keep the faith. Keep going. He is rooting for you and so am I!
“Great is our Lord and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite.” -Psalm 147:5