Finding Strength During Hard Times
Finding strength during hard times has never really been a “strength” of mine.
It’s the night of the super bowl. My early morning was rather stressful—more so than usual, and my guts hurt.
Sounds crazy, but I have always held my stress in my stomach.
My Sunday evening consisted of the usual.
Cook everyone Dinner, feed everyone dinner, clean dirty children, tend to needy children, clean up messes they make before I can even make myself a plate, feed baby, 10 second scarf your food as fast as you can or else you won’t eat at all session, bathe children, brush everyone’s teeth, read a book or 3 or 5, say goodnight prayers, feed baby again, maybe get some squats in, tuck the kids in about 5o0 times, and then finally time to chill.. Talk about hard times.
So for some of us I should say.. relaxation doesn’t come quickly.
I used to drive myself nuts every night and would clean everything in the house before I could even think about laying my own head down at night. It wore me out really, really fast after having just one child.
Now three later, I’m wiped by the end of even a somewhat (relaxed) day. Relaxed day for me means I didn’t make it out of my pajamas, like at all.
Most days I have my priorities straight, I would say pajamas all day qualifies as a priority sometimes.
Today was one of those not so good days, though, and it has really gotten to me; and i am struggling to find strength.
Do you have someone in your life family that drives you absolutely insane by the decisions they make in their life and the effect it has on everyone else you care about? Without getting into too much detail, it’s just really stressful and makes for some really hard times in our family.
No matter how hard I try to keep positive. It just still holds its weight on me because i want to make everything better, for everyone. Finding strength in moments of weakness is something i know i need to practice for the sake of my family.
The weight of it all, plus taking care of little’s can get a bit overwhelming for someone like me.
I recently had given up on the workload standard I held on myself in the evenings to relieve that extra load of stress and anxiety.
For an almost 4 month old who is attached to my boob for 6 hours straight, i have to quit thinking that i can be a perfect mama.
He is legit attached to the boob, ya’ll.
Sometimes the persistence of my significant other, which normally drives me crazy is in retrospect the best thing i could have in my life.
The moments where he insists on me getting in the bathtub after a stressful evening is what does my heart some good.
My heart sinks when my husband realizes my needs before i have to mention it to him.
Of course In these moments i feel so undeserving at times so much so that I usually deny any offerings.. but this time; I didn’t hesitate much.
I mean, who would want to turn that down after fighting with a 4 year old all day about why she cant change her outfit 100 times or why she cant wear all the makeup ALL. AT. ONCE.
This time it wasn’t as much of a mental battle for me as it was a countdown mission on how quickly I could get undressed and into my tub of steaming hot water( don’t all of us mamas love those red hot lobster baths?)
It was just one of those rare moments where I actually felt the need to take care of myself in order to find my strength.
These are the days I am thankful for all of the chaos and crazy that Jordan and I have created.
Being grateful for the little things has manifested into so much more strength than i thought it would during the hard times.
We may not have the nicest house, and sometimes we argue, but one thing that is consistent day in and day out is our love for one another.
And I truly know from experience that not everyone gets to experience life with someone like that.
I really don’t know what I did to be so deserving of the one thing I always wanted but never thought I would have.
Every day that passes i start to count my blessings more and more. It’s crazy because what I pictured my life would be like at age 25l; it’s no where near where it’s at right now. And i could not be more thankful for that.
Imagining if life turned out the way I planned for it to is a scary thought for me. To be honest, I used to think that i never wanted to be a mom. Big dreams took presidence in my life because i was dead set to be an independent woman; because I hated watching others depend so much on other people in their life.
Dreams to be a nurse was the passion i pursued and believe it or not; i actually invested into 3 years of nursing school before I got pregnant with our first born and I finally decided that being in the medical field was totally not for me. Shocker right?? Not for the people who know me.
Making decisions at the drop of a dime is for sure not my strength.
I wanted to be available for my children day in and day out. Something I never had but knew I would have benefited immensely from.
I do have that now and I’m grateful we have been able to make that work for us.
I decided quickly after holding my baby boy for the first time that I was going to do what ever I had to do to make my baby happy and to do the best I can to achieve a happy life. Finding strength during these hard times has become such a passion of mine.
And I will work my absolute hardest daily to achieve that!
I’m thankful for all of those hard times, and looking back now, I don’t feel like I wasted my time. I learned a lot about myself and about life in general and I don’t regret any of it.
What a lot of people don’t realize is that hard times don’t define our strength. I have had my weeks of unhappiness, that’s for sure; but i can say that choosing to be happier has made it easier to get through the hard times.
Being depressed or upset has always taken more energy from me than smiling does.
Through the smiles though has always lied a large amount of heartache.
I am noticing a lot of that these days. You look around and see the people, including celebrities that seem so happy to the public eye but sooner or later people realize what’s really going on through information leaked or a shocking suicide that no one saw coming.
What these people don’t realize is that we all deal with negativity and opposition.
None of us are perfect and none of us have perfect lives.
God forbid happy, wealthy, and successful people have feelings and real lives, too.
Only in a perfect world will there be no negativity. And that’s the world Jesus has promised us. We are living through the hard times right now and we need to pursue strength in order to grow.
We need people in our lives to encourage us and remind us of what we are truly living for! Especially on those not so good days.
Our end destination should always be our main focus!
[bctt tweet=”There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path. Don’t let yourself become one of them. ” username=”mamaingrace”]