Depression & Suicide
It’s been a little bit since I have had the time to actually sit down and write what has been on my mind.
Today it’s about depression and suicide.
Right now we are planning our wedding for next month and also planning my trip to the Mayo Clinic next week for the tumor in my spine.
Thank the good Lord for my soon to be husband who takes exceptional care of me and our 3 children because without him, I’m not sure I’d be able to do any of this at all.
Today, like everyday, I was watching the Today show and they were talking about the most recent suicides of Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade.
They were saying that talking about these types of things openly is kind of like adding fuel to the fire in a sense, for others (especially fans) to follow in their footsteps.
In my own experience I can understand why others would think and feel that way, but I do have to disagree and now I strongly felt the need to talk about it.
The controversy with it is; should we be talking about it, and should depression and suicide be exploited like it has?
Is it causing others to do the same, or is it helping others to talk about their own problems themselves?
Being a new subject that many others refuse to talk about and have refused to talk about in the past,
No two of us are identically the same.
However, the best we can do for each other is to have no judgement.
There’s something healing and therapeutic just by knowing you aren’t alone and knowing you don’t have to hide them anymore.
It’s also important that us as a society know the different signs and symptoms of depression that there are;aside from the generic ABC lists that most doctors abide by.
The topic of suicide and depression have been on my mind for weeks now.
I would say even before I wrote my blog post about Logan Paul, and that whole ordeal I have been wanting to write about a few things pertaining to it.
Depression is one of the realest most misunderstood feelings. And although it’s a hard pill to swollen, I’m happy to see more people talking about it.
Depression is a very real thing that needs to be taken more seriously.
It’s a problem that those who are suffering feel like they don’t have a place to talk about it.
Because I don’t think anyone suffering from depression want to portray themselves as a negative person. No one wants to feel that way.
If you were depressed you wouldn’t want your emotions being used against you I’m sure. And I’m positive you wouldn’t want to be treated any different.
Sometimes it’s hard to understand or explain why you feel the way you do. But it feels empty, and it feels alone.
It’s more than just feeling sorry for yourself, as people like to joke about. The feelings of depression are real and can get extremely overwhelming at times.
You can’t just erase things from your mind and body and move on from them as quickly as you would like. Our feelings need to be tended to so that they don’t become suppressed.
Suppressed emotions have been known to result in suicide.
Talking about my experience with depression was something i never wanted to do. But when I was just 16 years old, I lived in my car, worked a full time job, and I went to school full time.
What I’m sure most people didn’t realize was how depressed I really was during those times.
As it seemed to others, my life was fine.
Truthfully i was sleeping in my car or in my at the time boyfriends car ( because he was homeless too).
Life was hard for me during those times and I spent a lot of days wondering what I had done wrong to be in the place that I was. I didn’t understand why I was the way I was and I had no one comfortable to talk to.
It’s hard being alone during times like those and being afraid to even talk about it at all. Escaping from that reality becomes a top priority.
When you are dealing with something so heavy, especially at a young age, its hard to get your friends or people around you to understand where you are and where you are coming from.
You need people to love you and accept you for where you are at, and when you don have that, you feel isolated. It can feel like no one cares about you, like you care too much, and it makes the desire to live a healthy life go away.
The fight for happiness becomes debilitating and the voice in your head gets louder and louder. It gets harder and harder to believe the truth, and to hear Gods voice.
Many people don’t believe in the voice of god, and that’s totally ok.
But for the first real time I heard him not just talking to me, but screaming at me when I had made the decision and had come up with a plan to end my life.
His voice became the only thing I could hear and he was telling me how much he loved me, that he had plans, and a purpose for my life. I could feel a spiritual hug wrapping around me and holding me like I was a baby.
That day I got the help I needed. I was ashamed of talking to my doctor about what was going on but I was so desperate for help and happiness that it made it that much easier for me.
We all desire happiness
No matter what it is that you choose for your treatment options, jus know you aren’t alone, there are always other options, and you don’t have to depend on it forever.
Depression is another bump in the road that requires a ton of sacrifice, vulnerability, and putting your pride aside in order to get to the top.
Sometimes it takes going up the hill and back down a couple times before you gain enough strength and momentum to get to the top. Be willing to try new things, to open your mind and your spirit up, and always speak up for yourself.
Trust your instinct and when you know something isn’t right in your mind, its ok to get help. Your purpose is waiting for you to find it, and the enemy wants to fully distract you from it.
You can and will defeat depression and suicide doesn’t ever have to be the answer for you.
Always advocate for what you want and what you don’t want. You deserve to have the things that God desires for you, joy being one of them.
Throughout my journey of mental wellness I have become a firm believer in natural wellness.
It makes a major difference to supplement your body with the nutrients it really needs. Being deficient in essential vitamins can take a huge toll on your mental health.
On top of staying hydrated, moving your body everyday is another aspect of mental wellness that often gets overlooked. Even when you have no motivation, its important to get your blood flowing in all parts of your body every single day.
When overcoming depression, be patient with yourself as you break down barriers. It isn’t easy work, but you are worth figuring it out.
Depression is different for all of us. However the effects of it are more real than ever and I think we can all relate on that.
We can find our purpose and direction in helping one another. Overcoming anything is always going to be inspiring to someone else, and technically your story of overcoming depression and/or suicide could be what saves someones life.
We have to maintain our mind, our body and our soul.
Talking about the things going on in our mind is so healthy. In fact, many factors contribute to suicide among depression such as a:
- Relationship problem
- Problematic substance use
- Crisis in the past
- Job or financial problem
- Loss of housing
- Criminal or legal problem
- Physical health problem
Talk about your experience with someone safe, someone you trust, and someone who won’t give you damaging advice. Regardless of your circumstance, you deserve to be happy.
Your mental wellness will thrive on having support.
It absolutely breaks my heart to see any mention of suicides. There are so many people who are suffering in silence with depression.
According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Suicide claims more lives than war, murder, and natural disasters combined.
Suicide was also the second leading cause of death for adults between the ages of 10 and 34 years in the United States.
I believe that in order to break the stigma against mental health we need to be talking about these things more. The more that we hide things the more that it silences other people who need help.
Don’t be ashamed of getting the help you need if you are suffering yourself.
Depression can have its hold on any one of us.
It could be your neighbor, it could be your own mother, the pastor at your church, and you would never even know it.
Some people can be extremely well at hiding when they feel depressed or suicidal. We as a society need to be offering more awareness, support, and community.
It’s such a good feeling to know you’re not alone.
We shouldn’t feel bad for who we are or why we feel the way we do. No one wants to feel depressed, and I believe every one of us has a natural desire for happiness.
Life would me much more beautiful if we could all just accept one another without judgment. And accept each other for who we are and where we are no matter where we are at in life.
Whether we are different from each other or not, we can find a common ground when it comes to our feelings and wanting to feel like we have a purpose.
Life is full of inconsistencies, but a sense of consistency we can create for ourselves and others is love, grace and understanding.
Love your family, forgive yourself and others, and take time to understand your mental health.
When you focus on these things, it makes the judgement you feel towards others go away more and more.
We are all unique. Don’t be ashamed of who you are and definitely don’t hide it.
The world needs more love, and the world needs more of YOU.
If you are feeling suicidal or know someone who is suicidal call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for help.
They are available 24 hours 7 days a week and are available in two languages English and Spanish.