Life is a journey.
Getting started on the real reason why i started this blog..
I would be lying if i said that the past 6 years of my life hasn’t been that great,
because the journey has really been great.
It has honestly been amazingly life changing in so many ways.
Not just because i became a mom, but i finally let go of what god was literally forcing onto me.
Anyone who knows Jordan and I personally knows that there were a few bumps in the road when we first met.
He literally saw the ugliest side of my soul, from the get go.
I took it all out on him because there were so many things hidden in me that i was afraid to show.
And all he did was love me even more and encourage me to be real.
Sure he was hurt by my actions and words, but this man truly didn’t budge in his love for me or his baby.
Meeting your soul mate when your a person like me with a past like mine can be a huge defining moment in your life like it has been for me.
I have been shown the realist love there is, greater than a mothers or a “fathers” love, and greater than any friendship let alone relationship i have ever had.
I am thankful every second for him and the 3 lives we have created together.
But, as we all know
life is never what expect it to be year after year.
We make plans for ourselves ad you know the big man upstairs is having a little laugh
because it is so far off of what he has planned for you in the first place.. we think we have it all figured out.
Don’t we all?
Little did i know, he had a lot more planned for me than i have even thought was possible.
For me as a kid and throughout most of my life affection has been really hard to come by
Real feelings have always been avoided,
and walls have been put up all over the place in this girl.
And i have never really admitted that until now..
I am at a point in my life where i am ready to face my fears of simply exposing my true and authentic self
so i can begin the experience of getting to know myself better.
Hopefully i will be able to reach out to others who may be not just like me,
but someone who can relate, because i know we can help each other.
I feel like i am strong enough to do this now and that i have finally reached that destination point in my heart.
Starting this blog is something i have wanted to do for the past 6 months.
I wanted to start a journal first and eventually edit it and turn it into book…
but i want to be so real with myself and everyone else that i would just rather start now.
Just recently i have overcome so much with my health
with starting out a business, to being a stay at home mom to working full time and being the main provider
then back to being a stay at home mom.
All while raising a family and dealing with the major curves and obstacles that life has thrown us in.
It has been a crazy journey so far and it’s just getting started!
The plans i have for myself and my family are so much greater than anything i have imagined for myself
and i am really starting to see a breakthrough to pure happiness, it has finally arrived!
I need it in my life now more than ever.
I’m hoping by sharing this blog with you all that i can better myself
In the process i hope i can give someone else even a little bit of hope in this seemingly hopeless life.
Even though most of us like to make it look like we live perfect and happy lives
the truth is that we are all hurting a little inside
Part of the reason why i think it hurts so much is because most of the time we think we are alone.